Jacquelyn Sowers held a workshop at CMS September 9, 2003, sponsored by Exeter HealthReach. The following information was a part of her presentation and she was kind enough to share it with us and allow us to post it here.
1. Children need safe environments and caring adults to cope with traumatic events. They grieve developmentally, that is, they gradually learn the meaning of loss and death, not really grasping the permanence of death until about the ages of 9 or 10. They can seem to be able to quickly overcome upset, but psychologists tell us that this may mask unresolved feelings. Be prepared to revisit the incident over time.
2. No need to overdramatize, but don't try to hide or minimize tragedies. Tell the truth. Let students discuss or draw their reactions. Share your own thoughts and feelings, preferably after students have expressed theirs. Let their needs and interests guide the depth and duration of the sharing. (Remember - kids take their cues from adults, so we need to get our own emotions in check in order to project calmness, confidence, as well as authentic concern.)
3. It's probably best to keep children from watching too much television in time of crisis. For example, seeing planes fly into buildings over and over again may reinforce feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Monitoring children's TV viewing and talking with them about the images they see can help them put the event in larger perspective.
4. Naturally, children who have a personal connection to an event like September 11 will be most affected. For example, if a child had a relative in a plane crash or even just has a neighbor who is a pilot, he or she may have intense and long-lasting feelings of upset. It is estimated that about 40,000 children around the country had an actual personal or family connection with the traumas of September 11. The number of kids with perceived connections is incalculable.
5. Sleep disturbances and nightmares are the most common responses of young children to traumatic events. Fearfulness, physical complaints ("my stomach hurts"), regression, irritability, aggression, preoccupation with the event, sullenness, and other changes in behavior are also common.
6. It is not unusual to witness violent, aggressive play by young children trying to make sense of a violent event. For example, after September 11 one father found his child making a Lego "death machine to kill Osama bin Laden. " When play turns violent or retaliatory, psychologist Jim Garbarino recommends the adult enter into the play and incorporate ideas of justice. He suggests maybe marching an action figure into the scene and announcing "I'm taking him back to stand trial," and then letting the scene play out from there.
7. Children who know of a school shooting, for example, may not want to go to their school. They need reassurance that the school is safe and that caring adults there (principal, teachers, police) are doing everything they can to protect students.
8. It is especially important to talk with older children and teenagers about traumatic events to help them channel their feelings of anger and helplessness in constructive directions. It is not unusual for teenagers to focus on retaliation and talk of killing the people responsible. We need to talk with them about concepts of justice and discuss what could have led human beings to feel such rage that they would act in inhumane ways. We need to discuss alternative responses to terrorism that would not result in our behaving in the very ways we find so horrible and dehumanizing.
9. There is evidence that adolescents who are under great stress or who may be coping with feelings following a traumatic event may be more likely to involve themselves in risky behaviors like drinking, drug use, skipping school, reckless driving, or sexual activity. It is probably good to engineer discussion of a wide variety of positive coping behaviors that can help when one is profoundly rattled by a life experience or terrifying event
10. Encourage children and adolescents to take constructive action. What could they do individually or as a class to make a small positive contribution to the betterment of our world, our community, our school? To ease the suffering of victims? To take a stand against terrorism, hate, the killing of innocents? To understand and honor diversity? To express the meaning of America?
The UCLA School Mental Health Project's Center for Mental Health in Schools website. Go to "Quick Find " option and select "Grief and Bereavement" for extensive resources and references.
2. www.nasponline.org/NEAT/crisis_0911.html
The National Association of School Psychologists' website. List of books, articles, resources like Children and Responding to National Disaster and Disaster: Helping Children Cope
3. www.aacap.org/publications/DisasterResponse/index.htm
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry's website. See discussion papers "Helping Children After A Disaster," "How to Talk to Children and Parents After A Disaster," and "Children and the News."
4. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/violence.cfm
The National Institute on Mental Health website. Offers advice for adults who deal with children and adolescents who experienced trauma; how post-traumatic stress disorder is diagnosed; references to specialists and recent research.
5. http://www.ncptsd.org/facts/disasters
National Center on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder's website. Describes severe and less severe effects of trauma on children of all ages. Includes how to talk with children and when and how to seek professional help. (Go to "children," then "disaster.")
6. http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/war.html
NYU Child Study Center's About Our Kids website. Describes children's reactions to terrorism, role of television, how to talk with kids about events; addresses children's fears, anxiety , aggression, nightmares. Readings for children, parents, professionals.
The Dougy Center -The National Center for Grieving Children and Families -advice and materials specific to the needs of kids and adults; has sections for kids 12 and under and those 13 and over; includes teen message board. See article In the Wake of Terrorist Attacks on America: How Do We Respond to Our Children.
8. http://www.nea.org/crisis/b3home.html
The National Education Association's website. See wide range of resources in its Crisis Communications Guide and Toolkit, including "The First Day Back After A Crisis" and "Support Long-Term Healing."
9. www.kidshealth.org/misc_pages/P_squarebanner.html
The Nemours Foundation's Center for Children's Health Media KidsHealth web site. See information and articles like For Teachers: Talking About the Terrorist Attacks.
10. http://www.bt.cdc.gov/EmContact/index.asp
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's Public Health Emergency Preparedness and Response website. See information and references regarding bioterrorism (biological, chemical, radiological) emergencies, e.g., information about anthrax, smallpox, chemical agents, radiation, etc.
The Southern Poverty Law Center's Teach Tolerance website. See tips for talking with kids about terrorism and strategies for working against backlash against Arab Americans, preventing scapegoating and promoting peace.
Sesame Street Parents' website. See articles How to Talk to Your Kids About the Tragedy, Children and the Media, Stress and Fears, and Tragic Times, Healing Words.
© 2002, J.G. Sowers, Sowers Associates, One Park Avenue, Hampton, NH 03842