Jacquelyn Sowers held a workshop at CMS September 9, 2003, sponsored by Exeter HealthReach. The following information was a part of her presentation and she was kind enough to share it with us and allow us to post it here.
In the situations below, discuss ways for the parent to handle the issue that could result in growth for both parent and child.
1. Winifred has been excited about going to kindergarten. Her
two older sisters have been going to school for a long time. As the first week
passes, she has become more reluctant to go. Today she says, "Mommy, I don't
want to -. go to school any more. I want to stay home with you. All the other
kids know how to write their letters and numbers and I don't. I'm too dumb to go
to that school!"
2. Although Ron is very nervous about going to the middle school next year, he
usually hides it by bragging or making outrageous statements. "Dad, I can't wait
to get to 6th grade. No more baby stuff for me! I'm wearin' draggy baggies! But
when I ride the bus with those older kids who smoke and do other stuff on the
way home, I'll tell 'em not to. I'm just gonna be way cool!"
3. Brad loves basketball. He is an average player, but is very coachable. He
tries out for the traveling basketball team. He has his heart set on making it.
The coach of the team promised to call the kids the night of the tryouts and let
them know whether they made it or not. No call came. When Brad got to school,
several of his buddies said they didn't get a call either. Everyone was on pins
and needles. When Brad learned that two of the older boys had made it. He came
home hopeful. Maybe the coach would call tonight! Then
the phone rang. The coach said to Brad's mom, "Just tell him I know he tried his
best, but he didn't make it." Brad could tell the verdict by the look on her
face and burst into tears. Brad's dad and mom are furious at how the coach
handled things.
4. Sabal has always been a good student. Lately she has become more interested
in socializing. Her grades have dropped and she seems to have lost all academic
interest and direction. Today she tells you she has a major report due in two
weeks on a possible career she is considering. She is supposed to show how what
she is learning in her classes could help prepare her for that career. "What a
stupid assignment!" she wails. "Nothing in that stupid school will help me be a
nail girl!" "A what?" you ask. "A nail technician," she
replies, as though you could never understand. You have higher aspirations for
her.
5. Lanny has loved music since he was a toddler. He has a natural "ear" and can
sing, dance, and pick up most any instrument and make music. He can't read very
well and math escapes him. "All they care about in school is reading and math. I
got a low grade on that big statewide test. I think my teacher is going to be
telling you I should stay back in 5th grade for another year. I can't stand
that! She already makes me stay and read while
the rest of the class goes to music. I hate school!"
6. Rosa gets picked on by several other girls in her class. They call names and
threaten to beat her up when no adult is around. She seems angry and depressed.
She isn't eating or sleeping well. You have discussed this with the school
counselor who promised to monitor the situation. Nothing has changed. You are
torn between telling her to get in there and fight or urging her to tell the
teachers whenever it happens. You can't bear to see her so distraught.
7. Evan is a gifted student. He has always excelled in every subject. You are
very proud of his abilities. He enjoys being in plays and for years has always
had the lead or a prominent role in every class production. He expected to have
the lead in this year's big spring extravaganza. But he didn't get a speaking
part. The teacher made him the stage manager. "Go in and make him give me a good
part," he pleads. "He's just being mean."
8. Stephanie was very affected by the events of September 11, the anthrax
scares, and the sniper ordeal. She frequently comments about what a scary world
this is. You try to keep her from watching too much TV, but she is bright and
very interested in current events. Tonight after watching the news, she asked,
"Do you think we'll be in war with Iraq soon? I am worried about Luke and Reggie
and my big brother having to go to war. They're too young to die. And anyway, if
it all starts and weapons of mass destruction are used, it
could be the end of all life on the planet. How am I supposed to stay focused on
school and plans for college with all this going on?"
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© 2003, J.G. Sowers, Sowers Associates, One Park Avenue, Hampton, NH 03842